Attn: Professor Grimble (Venerable Grandfather)
Re: Successful Injection of Avatar into the Human Society
Grandpa:
Today I have finally carved out a little niche for myself among the humans. It was surprisingly easy to do, especially considering the fact that my country of choice has a policy against allowing "illegal aliens" into their borders. They must be very good at it, because I cannot detect any other aliens here at all. All the life forms I’ve encountered give off the same type of human energy, so either I was very lucky, or the human authorities have recently grown lax in their defense. I will report if there are any future complications.
As you know, I chose a rather humble avatar for myself from the university biomechanics department. The last thing I wanted was for my figure and symmetry to be too interesting to the humans and draw undue attention to myself. If my studies were in human relations and attraction, I’d have gone the same route as our university’s specialists in the subject, Sean DuConnery and Rhohalle "Halle" Berry. As it is, my plain avatar does well in lending me an inconspicuous cover. I have procured a satisfactory dwelling for it, which provides it with ample shelter from the elements and a promising connection to the rest of the planet’s infrastructure through the communicative conduits of Television, Cellular Phone, and Internet. Granted, these rudimentary venues are far more primitive than what we’re both accustomed to, but as you and I are both fluent in these native communicative methods, I have no fear that you will receive and understand my transmissions without fault.
Upon my initial study of the earthlings’ culture, I am fascinated to report that although they are absurdly ignorant of most practical scientific realities, they positively thrive here in their secluded corner of the galaxy, and they are so adept at their ways of life that they even find time to divert their attentions, just as we do. Their "hobbies," as they call them, span across a narrow range when compared to the equivalents from our own society, but within the earthlings’ realm of existence, the selection available is admirable indeed. It is just as Professor Halzy theorized. It was difficult for me to find a place to begin, but I knew that I must start somewhere, so I chose an arbitrary place of business within my local human settlement, and upon entering, went to the first bit of "hobby"-centric material I could find. 
I found myself between two tall, long structures housing large, loosely spun strands of thick, soft threads. I discovered from the labels of these strange objects that they were called "yarn," and they were used to make a wide variety of textiles, ranging from clothes and bedding all the way to dolls and accents for the home. I noticed that there were some texts available for purchase as well as the yarn, so, after loading the molecular structures of both products into my analyzer, I immediately returned to my dwelling and tried to reproduce what I found.
The book I had analyzed contained instructions for how to create small, strangely adorable little figures out of the yarn. The name for these figures was "amigurumi," and it was a craft that originated in a different country from the one in which I had taken residence. Bother these humans and their ridiculously large number of native languages. If they would only settle on a single language they might find themselves a more attractive place for their galactic neighbors to visit. The Anglish that I learned at the university only helps me here. I have since learned that there are even different dialects of Anglish all across the globe, and it is very frustrating indeed. Still, I am a young Snarkian, and it should only take me a couple hundred of this planet’s solar cyles to learn all the languages there are to learn at this point in time. I may stay that long if I discover more crafts as engaging as this one.
Ah, but I am digressing. The amigurumi are fascinating little dolls. They are not terribly difficult to make – as one would expect from human ingenuity – but their appeal is most delightful. There is something about the impish gleam in their beady little eyes that, when coupled with their exaggeratedly large heads, makes them both charming and adorable. I have discovered since beginning this undertaking that they have a rather small following here in this country, but it is enough to provide me with ample material for my initial studies. I shall make a thorough trial of this particular craft and provide you with my results as they surface. For now, I must leave you with my thanks for the kind treatment you and the rest of the faculty in your department have shown me, and with the promise that I will deliver to you much more data about the human diversions than we have ever collected. Until my next transmission, good cycle, and good quanta!
Your devoted granddaughter,
Shuko
